On Fashion, Part I

I am 27 years old, and I have a subscription to Seventeen magazine.

Oh, shut up.

I have the subscription because I was placing an order on Amazon and needed to spend a little more to get the free shipping and at the time, a year's subscription to Seventeen magazine was $5. So I added it to the cart, thinking it would give me a few laughs. I've had the subscription for about a year now and to my surprise, I do sit down and read each issue when it arrives. It has performed admirably in the laugh department, but lately I've had some problems with what I see when I open the magazine.

I must be 87 and not 27 because the so-called fashions they're encouraging teenagers to wear these days are horrifying. Acid-wash jeans? Stripes? Leather and floral? Leggings as pants? I REPEAT: LEGGINGS AS PANTS?!?! I'm dying over here, because if these poor girls where famous, they'd be written up on Go Fug Yourself - which is hilarious, but not exactly a noble distinction - every week. While I'm sure some questionable knee-sock, plaid mini-skirt, and animal-shaped backpack recommendations were made when I was reading 17* and under the age of 17, I am also sure they were nothing like this.

Also, can I just say that the prom dresses and hairstyles associated with them have COMPLETELY CHANGED from when I was going to prom (spring of '99 and '00). We were all about the big poufy ball gowns with corsets and boning, and those crazy updos with the twisty bits and the ringlets... Oh, I wish I had a picture, because both dresses I wore fully captured this look. One of them was by Jessica McClintock. Raise your hand if you remember THOSE dresses!

Girls these days are wearing chignons and curled 40's style bobs and these dresses that I probably wouldn't even leave the house in now that I'm in my 20's. They're wearing these crazy outfits with mini skirts that I would never have worn as a teenager, but probably should have because I was quite skinny back then. And the truth is... they're really not wearing anything any crazier than those plaid kilt minis with knee socks that were everywhere in the mid-90's. I think that I'm probably just old. And cranky. And completely annoyed with everything I see in stores these days... but that's another post.

Confession? Once I got past the bad fashion spreads, the two things in Seventeen magazine that have been the most valuable have been the hair styling tips (I apparently missed that class back in high school) and the healthy recipes/eating tips they feature each month. I have to give them mad props for encouraging teenage girls not only to eat, but also to make better, healthier choices. Their support of a positive body image also has to be commended, even if the models they feature are mostly the size of toothpicks.

On that note, stay tuned for "On Fashion, Part II". :-)

*As seen in the majority of Clueless, or this Versace ad that I very clearly remember from one of my mom's issues of Vogue back in the day. 15 years later, I still love most of Alicia Silverstone's outfits in that movie. Is that weird?